Hi, my name is Christian and I am Christianity-curious

[catnamedgoose]

Hi everyone. As the title says, my name is Christian and I'm Christianity-curious. I have an amazing wife, and also a cat named Goose, who I named my account after, lol. In my early teenage years, I was a fundamentalist, creationist, far-right Christian. That world view, I think, is filled with endless flaws and ignorance. Creationism and hardline Christianity are really hard to justify against our modern understanding of the world, eg. earth literally being 6,000 years old. So naturally as I got older, I let go of my religion and eventually became what I might call a "militant" atheist. Endless debating, YouTube videos debunking logical fallacies etc. However, since I became married, we've had our ups and downs, and at times I've felt pretty desperate. I've also had a few existential crisis' that brought on some really heavy anxiety. I bring this up to say that my view towards Christianity has softened, and I'm curious about it again. I left Christianity originally because I thought "well if I don't accept that the earth is 6,000 years old, I can't be a Christian". It hasn't been until recently that I realized wait a minute, there's an entire group of non-bigoted, non-denialist Christians. So here I am! You guys can look forward to lots of questions from me. 

Has anyone else on here had a similar arc in their faith? I'm very curious what y'alls experience has been. Thanks! 

[JosephM]

Greetings catnamedgoose and welcome to the forum,

Thank you for the introduction. I think there are many that have traveled that same road before including myself. Some are still here and others have continued on in their journey. It seems to me you are on a path of deeper understanding of Christianity and you will find what you are looking for.

Love in Christ,

Joseph

[PaulS]

19 hours ago, catnamedgoose said:

Has anyone else on here had a similar arc in their faith? I'm very curious what y'alls experience has been. Thanks! 

Same same, but different!

I grew up in a fundamentalist Church with all the thought traits you describe.  I found those views quickly shrank when I started working as a young adult and I became more involved with the 'real world', and soon I found myself rejecting Christianity & God.  I left a window open for there to be something 'more' that I didn't understand, but I completely lost faith in the beliefs around God & Jesus that I had been raised with.

Fast forward about 20 years and I too was facing a crisis as an adult with normal worldly concerns - raising a family, money issues (I had a lot of debt), financial & job security, etc.  When I was at my lowest a 'helpful' Christian friend of mine told me all this stress and worry was Jesus' way of trying to call me back to the fold!  Ha! "Kick me whilst I'm down why don't ya!"

I didn't return to the Christian faith but I found this site and Progressive Christianity in general and began to understand that there is another way to look at Jesus and the Bible, and that revelation was huge to me!  I couldn't get enough of biblical scholarship and understanding that provided a different (and to me, more rational) understanding.  It really helped me (over quite some time) to come to understand just 'why' Christianity didn't 'work' for me per se.  I am still open to there being something 'more' though.

If Christianity (whatever version or theology) serves a positive purpose for you, and you cause no harm, then I wish you well.  I think there is a lot to learn when it comes to understanding Christianity in a less dogmatic and fundamental way, and would encourage you to read some John Shelby Spong, Marcus Borg, Bart Erhman, etc.  

Personally, I think NONE of us know the answer when it comes to God, and all of us in whatever way land on whatever is comfortable to us, and sometimes that changes.  If there is a God 'watching' or overseeing all this, I have no doubt that that God might understand.