BillM Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 Thanks for your input and condolences, NORM. I suspect that suffering usually has two major impacts on us. The first is our desire to know and understand why we suffer. We'd like a reason. The second, perhaps more devastating, is how alone or forsaken suffering makes us feel. Even Jesus, on the cross, seemed to feel that God had forsaken him. This is where, perhaps, sitting Shiva is a helpful practice. I don't really know anything about the tradition, but I know it is the community coming together to support the grieving. I don't think that Christianity has such a tradition, probably because it holds that because the loved one is in a better place, grieving is not necessary. Ha ha. Not true. Grieving is about those who remain, about dealing with our loss, not about healing (because that probably does not come), but about learning to live with the life-change that the loss brings to us, usually against our will. It is not an easy thing and, IMO, can be helped by a support community. In my own experience, though a couple of people from my church came to the funeral, that was all that happened. We received cards, of course, but there was nothing like sitting Shiva. Nobody truly grieved with us (IMO). Instead, they just tried to reassure us that all was in God's plan and that Moriah was in a better place. I don't believe the first assertion and I'm skeptical of the second. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
romansh Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 I can remember walking back from James' grave and thinking that evolution has imbued me (and most other people) for the capacity to feel grief. It was at that point I 'understood' it was pointless to fight the feeling of grief. I decided to experience it to the best of my ability. I also understand that the vast majority of people who mourned with me were not experiencing grief. That is OK too. Evolution gives us the capacity to feel grief, our immediate environment directs us what to grieve about should we lose that person. I learned very quickly what is the difference between grieving and mourning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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