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Loving The Unloved


JenellYB
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Something I love about this forum is how an idea from here, another from there, picked up across the range of threads going on in here at any time, seem to combine with experiences from my life as ingredients in a recipie for something further...

 

Things from Jeanied's thread about bibles for children, Dutch's examination of sermon types, and Soma's comment under Chris's atheist perspective, "As a Christian I find it is the knowledge of the finer strata of existence or energy that helps me understand my life so as a Christian I try to love and include the unloved in my actions. I feel I need to love those caught in the fundamentalist web of many religions because they feel unloved so project that on others.".....all just seem to come together in thoughts cooking in the pot on my own burner lately..

 

I recall something that I think first came to mind for me some years ago...that if we know immediately to give food to one that is hungry, and to immediately give drink to one that is thirsty, why do we not immediately know to give love to one that is lacking it?

 

I'm trying to really comprehend, embrace, and integate this reality...that those that act unloving toward others are projecting onto others their own feelings of being unloved.

 

A furstrating and recurring theme here in our discussions is that of how unloving, jedgemental, even cruel, those caught up in certain religious traditions seem to be. And many of us struggle to remain dispassionate and objective trying to talk about that, for reason of our own deep hurts sufferred within/from within those traditions.

 

In Jeanied's thread about introducing children to Christianity, the prevailed concern emerged as the terribly evident element of people being dehumanized in bible stories to such a degree that those accustomed to that, those conditioned into that mindset, don't seem to even SEE the horrors of human atrocities in so many of those stories, seem to just accept them, uncomfortably often, gleefully, as God/good guys (us) triumphing over, getting the last word over, "others as bad guys." For me, to see not just the disregard among those for the actual horrors of those atrocities, but the often present smug, even self-satisfied pleasure taken at the suffering of those meeting their end, is even more horrifying than the atrocities themselves.

 

Such is dehumanizing and villianizing others so as to dismiss them as of any value, to the Nth! Those "others" are not even being comprehended AS human beings! They are reduced to mere props in the stories, part of the inanimate background against which the story of "our people", those we vicariously identify with, is being told.

 

Likewise that dehumanization of others seems to carry through so much else in that mindset, to a rather complete lack of empathy, sympathy, or compassion for other people "in real life" they interact with and relate to and talk about. There is so often not merely disregard for the value, well-being and feelings of others, but outright hostility toward them, as if inflicting hurt on others is a virtue. I'll never become comfortable with how easily I hear those within that mindset pronounce others as being doomed to hell, with even something of a smug satisfaction at the idea.

 

And then i think about this projection thing. Those of us here most often speak of those kinds of hurts and offenses as we've percieved and experienced them in context of our journey in breaking away from, rejecting all of that kind of religion and attitude. And here is a key point, I think...we have allowed outselves to recognize it, and make the choice to reject it. Some sooner, some later, even after having served a stint in there, bought into it oursejves for a time. Some of us no doubt can, if honest withour selves, recall times WE did those things to others, too, as we were caught up in that.

 

In that, so have we recogized our hurt, our woundings, and the source, so as to begin to move away from it, to try to heal. But those still caught up within in it have not come to that, at least yet. Or they wouldn't still be there, caught up in, going along with it. There are also surely those that do see it, at least to some extent, but for various reasons, have not come to accept breaking away, rejecting. Whether consciously recognized or not, the soul, the spirit, even the mind at some level HAS to recognize it, HAS to know...even when the person feels trapped within it.

 

So what do any of us do with suppressed pain and grief that we feel trapped in submission to and constrained from openly expressing? When we feel we are trapped in taking the abuses and offenses with a smile plastered to our face, pretending not to notice? Feeling we cannot dare reveal our vulnerablities?

 

We most often lash out, We project. We take a defensive position pretending to be aligned with our abusers, we offend as we are offended. As they feel unloved, dehumanized, devalued, so is the tendency to project that onto others, make others suffer the same painful things. Let's not mince words here....in such an environment, to show such weakness in solidarity with the prevailing abusive powers is to have them turn on, turn against any that so dare. To openly object, rebel, often leaves only the options of getting out, or getting ripped to shred. (another thread...Christians crucifying Christians" comes to mind.)

 

So now, what do i do with this? I don't know the answer. But at least I've got some working questions going. And that's where it has to start.

 

Jenell

 

 

 

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I recall something that I think first came to mind for me some years ago...that if we know immediately to give food to one that is hungry, and to immediately give drink to one that is thirsty, why do we not immediately know to give love to one that is lacking it?

 

I think it is because loving is much more difficult than feeding. You can feed without emotion. When you love you become vulnerable.

 

steve

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it is not limited to the unloved. How many kids have the latest video game but spend no QUALITY time with their parent.

 

You see many parents watching at their kids ball games but few who actually play the game with them. ( this was a peeve of my time when I coached my kids). Watch is not being involved but it is easier.

 

steve

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Yeah, a pet peeve area for me too, lol. I get on my own kids' bad side pretty often over their lavishing any and every new toy and electronic gadget upon my grandhildren, basically it seems, to keep the occupied and out of their hair. I believe it also stifles their creativity...what's to stimulate the imagination, creative problem solving, creative new uses for ordinary things, etc. And then there's instant gratification, every new thing comes so easily, and devaluation, since they have to much nothing really means much in itself, easy come, easy go......oh well, i guess that's just the way us old folks are....

 

Jenell

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