Bobbie0312

Well said, Joseph. Usually if the act comes out of a problem in a relationship of some kind, hanging on to the anger but not for too long helps me to better understand myself, helps me set new healthy limits, and other cool things. The process of forgiveness creates this paradigm shift where I can use the act as an opportunity to grow and learn. Forgiveness for me is a process, not an instantaneous thing, and it can come and go. But I have to consciously work on it, so I don't get permanently stuck in the toxicity of anger and blame, which in the end only serves to stunt my own positive spiritual journey, not the other person's. I once read a book called "Don't Forgive Too Soon," which opened me up to the idea that there's value in giving the forgiveness cycle some time.

Overcast, thanks for starting the thread. I was baptized and raised in the "high" Episcopal Church. I'm getting dangerously close to 60, and over the years I've been to so many different churches, even once to an "Evangelical Catholic" church where they sang in tongues. I've joined a few churches, stayed for varying periods of time, only to ultimately decide I was being hypocritical so I would leave. The hypocrisy was that I really didn't believe any of it, but I was drawn to the sense of community, peace, friendships and outreach in the ones I joined. I've had a difficult few years, have struggled with my own anxieties and depression, have been caretaking a sister with schizophrenia, become a single parent with 3 teenagers, and the list goes on. So, I've been looking again for that sense of "community" and think I may have found it at a church I discovered on this website. In fact, the first day I attended, Bishop John Spong was the guest preacher. As long as I don't hear "the Lord Jesus is the one and only way toward eternal life and salvation...", yada yada, I should be ok. Although I have to say the head reverend seems maybe a little too slick and there was a brand new Infiniti parked in his very own personalized parking spot, so I've made no commitments yet. I keep telling myself that first impressions are just that, both good and bad. Also, anything that even remotely smacks of "cult" sends me running. I tried a church once where the pastors were a husband/wife team. Nope, couldn't deal with that either.

Greetings all: I've been trying to find my spiritual/religious way since I was about 5 years old, and that was a very long time ago! I remember being told by my best friend when I was very little that I would be going to hell because my oldest sister married a Catholic. And I thought, "Well that's not fair - I didn't have anything to do with that!" Ha-ha! Anyway, I've left various churches over the years because I just couldn't convince myself that their way was the "only way" and that whatever god that exists out there could be so punishing and spiteful. If my parents were able to express unconditional love no matter what I did, why wouldn't god? So, here I am, happy to have found this site and grateful that I haven't given up my search. I look forward to getting to know you. Bobbie