My journey of freedom to doubt

[RobCrompton]

Hello, Folks. I’d like to share with you a brief description of the sort of spiritual journey I have been travelling for many years now. This is snipped from the preface to my new book, Stories in the Scriptures.

Whilst I am very much out of step with fundamentalist and authoritarian versions of belief, I am equally at odds with the belief-debunking skeptic who takes the view that all religious belief is naive and who comes across as very much like the smart-alec ten-year-old who enjoys sneering at the little kids who still believe in Father Christmas. My own religious position is not at all any sort of middle ground between these two extremes. It is in a different place altogether – and one which I commend to you.

Half a lifetime ago, when I was coming back to religious involvement after a few years of secularity and beginning to explore the possibility of entering the Methodist ministry, I had an interesting and encouraging conversation with the Reverend Bill Horton. Bill was at that time General Secretary of the Church’s Division of Ministries and was probably curious to find out a little more about the strange guy who had shown up in church after such a long absence from belief and now wanted to offer as a candidate for ordained ministry. He asked me why I had chosen to come into the Methodist Church rather than another. I replied that so far as I could see at that time the Methodist church in the UK was committed to promoting unity of fellowship without imposing uniformity of belief.

This was important to me having come from a distinctly odd background. I had grown up in the Watchtower movement of Jehovah’s Witnesses where the whole doctrinal package was imposed from the top down and rigidly enforced. That meant the process of questioning and searching for answers was associated only with the beginning of the journey of faith. But since leaving that mindset behind I had taken a degree in philosophy and logic and had nurtured the habit of constantly questioning what I believed. So it was vitally important that every member of the Christian fellowship should be free to question, to doubt, to change our minds – and never to feel that coming to a different view of what to believe meant anyone should have to move on and find a new fellowship whose members all believe that revised opinion. I found Bill’s warm agreement with that answer greatly encouraging.

That was my position then, and it remains my position now. I came into the Methodist Church well over at the liberal end of the spectrum of belief and have progressed further in the direction of freedom. And that is why, even though I no longer lead worship since I retired, I nevertheless remain a Methodist minister. The church fellowship must be open to all who wish to engage with the stories in the Scriptures – those who seek to come into the presence of the Divine at the Communion rail and those also who seek the Divine whilst walking in the forest.

 

[romansh]

Thanks Rob,

Can I ask a direct question? Do you believe about two thousand years ago an angel came to someone called Mary or Maryam or whatever it is in Aramaic and foretold of some kind of a divine birth where a literal son of God would be born?  And then this actually happened? 

Just trying to clarify what you really believe.

[RobCrompton]

Hi, Romansh. No, I don't believe that traditional literal version of the story. But I do believe that in the birth narratives we have a couple of divergent stories which could well have their origins in some reality which could well shed light upon the early, pre-Jesus movement within Judaism which eventually developed into the Christian Church.

 

[romansh]

Thanks ... I think I understand. This origins in some reality is it natural in that there is no so called Godly intervention?

[romansh]

Have you read Joseph Campell at all?

His four purposes of religion assp

• awe - to give us a sense of awe with respect to existence.
• science - to provide a scientific explanation of existence.
• society - to give us guidelines on how to meander our way through existence.
• psyche - to give us an insight into how existence shapes our inner workings.

Of course, there are other aspects of our lives that have passed religion by. Telescopes and microscopes definitely give me a sense of awe. Science itself has left religion in the dust as explanations of existence go. Our societal structures like the judicial system and government certainly provide comprehensive and adaptable guidelines. I would argue the young science of psychology has a way to go to catch up to give us reliable insights into our psyche.

Edited October 25, 2022 by romansh

[tariki]

As I see it, events happen. Now and in the past. Much like a rorschach test, we throw our conceptual formulations upon them. The problem is that the "formulations" can be taken as ultimately "real", final, a conclusion. Worse, that just one is the ultimate "real" as intended by a transcendent being who is "communicating" with us, seeking us, looking for us to obey. A reward in some future realm beyond this one. 

The "real" as I see it is transcendent to thought. Our minds can seek the "real" by logic, our own particular quest, what can be an eternal dialectic of reason. An eternal conflict in reason. But reason will never lead us to the Real simply because the Real is freedom itself, forever advancing into novelty. 

As I see it, Faith is closer to the Real than any belief or doctrine. A faith that lets go and seeks not to cling to any of our current understandings, seeing these more as a raft, "for passing over, not for grasping".

In this sense, life is "meaningless" and nothing is concealed, or awaiting our discovery at some future date. In the "now" is everything, yet, paradoxically, with a movement forward. Forward into greater transparency and intimacy. 

While on my own travels I still feel the need to keep a close watch on my mind/heart, that it does not become cold. To be accepting of others, each on their own journey, often one beyond my own experience. 

This morning has been tough for me, mental health wise. Now, with a coffee in McDonalds, a few things brighten. 

No blame. Be kind. Love everything