Please Help

[lars7]

Hi Everyone,

 

I just recently found Progressive Christianity and this site. While I currently identify more with agnostic beliefs, I found Progressive Chrisitanity very inspiring and reassuring. I now see that the reason I may have avoided forming strong religious beliefs in the past was because of the unacceptance and "better than you" attituted that I often saw accompaning Christianity. I am so glad to realize that this mentality doesn't have to accompany Christianity. However, I am going through a huge personal struggle and am asking you all for guidance.

 

Struggle: Two weeks ago my boyfriend of 2.5 years told me he was unsure if he could be with me anymore and see a future with me still because I have different religious beliefs then him. He said he had been struggling with these issues lately and he felt he wanted to restrengthen his realtionship with God. He continued to say that he wanted to "save" me and that the only way to heaven was through embracing Jesus Christ into my life. Additionally, he said the bible said it was wrong for two people to "be unequally yoked in faith" and a "believer to enter into a relationship with a non-believer."

 

Because we agree that we still love each other very much and still want to be together, we have decided to attempt to work through this together by searching for more understanding . Yet, I feel like he is retreating into his already established beliefs instead of exploring other Christian interpretations and beliefs. I tried to point out that some Christians view the bible as more of an interpretation of gods word istead of litterally. This was a concept that he didn't even know existed and is having a hard time swallowing. I hope that by helping show him that his Fundamentalist Christian beliefs aren't the only Christian beilefs I can open his eyes some and help him actually explore what he believes instead of what he is told he has to believe by his church and others around him.

 

Please, I need any help you can offer me. Could you suggest books that could help him or me. Or offer your take on the situation or even your interpretations of what the bible says about interfaith relationships and marriages.

[Cynthia]

Wow - welcome to the board! I'd recommend the book, "The Heart of Christianity" by Marcus Borg for you and, if he will, your boyfriend. You can listen to his talk about this book on www.explorefaith.org - it was March, 2004 at Idlewild Presbyterian church in Memphis, TN. It's about 30 minutes and may be something you can listen to together easily.

 

There are lots of resources on www.beliefnet.com.

 

Feel free to come here and discuss your ideas and questions - that's what we all love.

 

As for your relationship.... non-grasping.... it's nice to have someone to walk with, but ultimately we all walk alone with God... unequally yoked is a problematic concept... you may find it more so as you expand your beliefs in a less limited God and build a relationshipwith Him. Good luck!!!!!!!

[flowperson]

Welcome to the board !

 

We hope that your times here will be beneficial to both you and those that you love in seeing that there are many ways to G-d. In some ways Jesus himself demonstrated the truth of this, even though the words that have been put into his mouth by second and third century authors contend that He is/was the only way.

 

We like to question realities here in a climate of mutual respect and learning, and someone is always around here to offer suggestions, sometimes whether or not you want or need them.

 

My suggestion for a worthwhile book would be The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck. While it is really a self-help, get yourself straight book from the 80's, it is written by the late Dr. Peck from a progressive and inclusive Christian perspective and has been helpful to many of us here in coping with the reality of this world that " Life is difficult."

 

BEST WISHES ON YOUR NEW JOURNEYS !

 

flow....

[jerryb]

Hi Everyone,

 

I just recently found Progressive Christianity and this site.  While I currently identify more with agnostic beliefs, I found Progressive Chrisitanity very inspiring and reassuring.  I now see that the reason I may have avoided forming strong religious beliefs in the past was because of the unacceptance and "better than you" attituted that I often saw accompaning Christianity.  I am so glad to realize that this mentality doesn't have to accompany Christianity.  However, I am going through a huge personal struggle and am asking you all for guidance.

 

Struggle: Two weeks ago my boyfriend of 2.5 years told me he was unsure if he could be with me anymore and see a future with me still because I have different religious beliefs then him.  He said he had been struggling with these issues lately and he felt he wanted to restrengthen his realtionship with God.  He continued to say that he wanted to "save" me and that the only way to heaven was through embracing Jesus Christ into my life.  Additionally, he said the bible said it was wrong for two people to "be unequally yoked in faith" and a "believer to enter into a relationship with a non-believer."

 

Because we agree that we still love each other very much and still want to be together, we have decided to attempt to work through this together by searching for more understanding .  Yet, I feel like he is retreating into his already established beliefs instead of exploring other Christian interpretations and beliefs.  I tried to point out that some Christians view the bible as more of an interpretation of gods word istead of litterally.  This was a concept that he didn't even know existed and is having a hard time swallowing.  I hope that by helping show him that his Fundamentalist Christian beliefs aren't the only Christian beilefs I can open his eyes some and help him actually explore what he believes instead of what he is told he has to believe by his church and others around him. 

 

Please, I need any help you can offer me.  Could you suggest books that could help him or me.  Or offer your take on the situation or even your interpretations of what the bible says about interfaith relationships and marriages.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Welcome Lars,

 

Believe or not...I've been there...and done that.

When I first began to 'step timidly'outside my then, fundamental faith,and explore some new horizions in my relationship with God, my wife was,to say the least, very

skeptical.

But over time,as we pledged to be patient with each other in this area of our lives,it all came BEAUTIFULLY together. Not only has she also stepped outside the narrow boundaries of fundamentalism, but she now has a daily post entitled Spiritual Pathways(notice the word pathways...many ways to GOd). And we have entertained groups of people from all over the U.S. in our home for two day spiritual retreats. It has been a fabulous blessing to both of us.

So I encourage you and your boyfriend to give each other the time to GROW TOGETHER spiritually.

 

Blessings To You My Friend

 

Jerry

p.s...if you want to talk by e-mail,it is Uplift7 @aol.com

[October's Autumn]

If your bf isn't willing to see other viewpoints and embrace a more progressive stance he is right in saying that it is not a good idea to "unequally yoked." If is is constantly trying to "save" you it will put a lot of stress on your relationship. In the long run you are both better off without each other IF that is going to be the case. I hope it all works out for you. Keep posting!

[soma]

It can work, but both parties have to compromise and love each other deeply. I am a vegetarian, progressive Christian, meditate twice a day and do yoga twice a day. My wife is more fundamental or was, she is not vegetarian, and does non of the spiritual practises that I do. We are also of two different cultures, but we love each other and don't think that one of us is more right than the other. We don't try to change each other either we love, grow and the change comes from within each of us. We are learning, respecting and growing in the Lord on two different paths.

 

My children are the benefactors who seem to be successful on many fronts.

[mystictrek]

I agree that Borg's book THE HEART OF CHRISTIANITY could be very helpful. Borg contrasts "earlier paradigm" Christianity with "emerging paradigm" Christianity. It is possible that you and your boyfriend might find that the emerging paradigm can bring you together, create some common ground. Many Presbyterian, UCC, Episcopal, Methodist, Lutheran, Unity and other mainline congregations are open to the "emerging paradigm" approach.

 

The Bible is a fantastic book when you can let go of the magical and mythical baggage attached to it. The Bible leads us to all kinds of growth, to peace and justice, to compassion and cooperation, to humility and patience. So many good things. Borg says we can claim the Bible with a historical, sacramental and metaphorical approach rather than factual-literal.

 

A far more scholarly book which addresses the issue of the authority and influence and power of the Bible is: WHO WROTE THE NEW TESTAMENT by Burton Mack.