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New here, progressive living in very conservative area


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Hello,

I've been a Christian my whole life. I was raised in a fairly conservative Evangelical community (LCMS).  I started examining what I had been taught when I was about 30. (I'm currently 49). My process of deconstruction has been quite slow and I stayed in conservative Evangelical churches during most of those years.  Starting about 8 years ago, many more layers came off and I gradually found myself unable to stay in those communities any longer, there was too much internal conflict.  I didn't feel it was fair of me to attend a faith community that was very upfront about what they believed and taught and then criticize what they believe and teach.  My husband has also been deconstructing although he started later than I did and hasn't peeled back as many layers as I have.  We currently attend a mildly progressive evangelical church.  It's a great fit for my husband and kids, not so much for me.  But it's a compromise I can live with, for now.

We live in a very conservative area, progressive is a highly inflammatory word around here.  With almost all of my local friends and acquaintances, I cannot have conversations about topics that are important to me.  I jokingly say I'm a heretic; of course I don't actually believe I am, as heresy is simply the ideas that didn't win in an argument a long time ago.  

I'm looking forward to community and conversations here.

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4 hours ago, Soliloquy said:

Hello,

I've been a Christian my whole life. I was raised in a fairly conservative Evangelical community (LCMS).  I started examining what I had been taught when I was about 30. (I'm currently 49). My process of deconstruction has been quite slow and I stayed in conservative Evangelical churches during most of those years.  Starting about 8 years ago, many more layers came off and I gradually found myself unable to stay in those communities any longer, there was too much internal conflict.  I didn't feel it was fair of me to attend a faith community that was very upfront about what they believed and taught and then criticize what they believe and teach.  My husband has also been deconstructing although he started later than I did and hasn't peeled back as many layers as I have.  We currently attend a mildly progressive evangelical church.  It's a great fit for my husband and kids, not so much for me.  But it's a compromise I can live with, for now.

We live in a very conservative area, progressive is a highly inflammatory word around here.  With almost all of my local friends and acquaintances, I cannot have conversations about topics that are important to me.  I jokingly say I'm a heretic; of course I don't actually believe I am, as heresy is simply the ideas that didn't win in an argument a long time ago.  

I'm looking forward to community and conversations here.

Welcome to the Forum, Soliloquy.

There is also a heap of previous conversations and subject matter within the archives.  Many, many people who have participated here over the years have been through similar experiences.  Feel free to comment on or reinvigorate any of them if you would like to.

It's not easy coming to the conclusion that what you have been taught and believed all your life, actually has some major flaws that you can no longer ignore.  The social aspect alone of no longer believing 'the same' as others, as you point out, can be very ostracizing and unsettling.

I wish you and your husband well in this journey.

Cheers

Paul

 

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