Jump to content

I need help


WandaMc
 Share

Recommended Posts

 

Hey, everybody. I have a problem, and I come seeking help. 


I've typed and retyped this several times. I feel guilty and blasphemous talking about this. 

My father is living with me, and he is driving me crazy. 
He listens to televangelists all day. Specifically, right now, the emphasis is on Doug batchelor, but there are dozens of others. 

He says he's "studying," and when asked to clarify, just repeats himself. He is convinced the world is coming to an end, probably tomorrow. He is nominally a progressive himself, but whenever he listens to any of these preachers, he accepts whatever they have to say as gospel truth. He is constantly entrenching himself in dangerous right wing rhetoric. Convinced that every nation on earth wants to blow America off the map because it's a Christian nation, while simultaneously seeming to believe that america is some kind of secular hellscape. 

I feel awful saying anything about it. I feel like I'm going against God, because I don't want him "studying," I feel like I'm being blasphemous. 

It got so bad a few months ago, to the point where he was ordering things online, donating a significant portion of very small SSI check to right wing "charities," and spending every single waking hour listening to men yell and scream about how the world is ending, and it's all the fault of whatever minority group was the fan favorite for the day. I couldn't take it anymore. I changed the password on the wifi, told him his phone had viruses, and I had to send it back to Verizon to get serviced. 
The youtube recommendations on the shared account we used went from primarily videos about homesteading and news, to videos about the end of days, why the gay agenda will destroy america, and secret Jewish plots. It was bad, y'all.


Like I said, he's nominally progressive. He supports many progressive causes, but there's this cognitive dissonance between him as a person, and him as an evangelist. 

He's gotten very, very into Messianic Judaism and the seventh day adventists, though I don't know very much about either of those groups, to be honest. I don't know if they're inherently right wing, or if he's just found the right wing of them. 


My lie about the phone has reached an end, I can't keep putting it off anymore, and the moment I "get the phone fixed," it's going right back to where it was. 

Are there any progressive/left leaning televangelists, podcasts, youtubers, anything? I need help, and I'm legitimately concerned for him, and I have this horrible racking guilt about this. I don't know what to do. 

Can any of you help me, please?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wanda,

Welcome and sorry to hear about your problem. Personally i would recommend honesty and forgiveness to rid yourself of any guilt. With all the social media out there there is a lot of cult like information and videos out there concerning the issue you mention. If it were my father, i would not pester or argue with him him over the issue. You can share your honest feelings and then let it go. In my view, we can't  change others, we can offer advice but we have to accept that they have their own mind to make up. You don't have to let it "drive you crazy". You can choose to let him live with you or not. If you decide he is to remain living with you then it is my opinion that you need to get over that which about him is bothering you and stop lying about the wifi and his phone. The prayer "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. " may be applicable here. Also guilt cannot exist with a clear conscience. Honesty is usually always the best policy and practice.

Best regards,

Joseph

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WandaMc,

I feel for you - this must be a very trying and even scary situation.  

You don't say how old your father is, not that it really matters, but I wonder if he could be suffering some anxiety or depression that is driving him to compulsively listen to these televangelists.  It's possible that he may need some mental health assistance like a psychological counselor.  Although, getting him there might be another thing.  Something like the DAAS scale (a simple scoring system that helps identify anxiety/depression) might help you/him with a basic assessment - https://www.workcover.wa.gov.au/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2015/07/3.dass21withscoringinfo.pdf

It may also be that he is just fixated on these particular messages at the moment and that being the case, possibly anything you say or do is going to be ignored or rejected because it seems he mightn't be ready to listen to an alternate view at this time.  As Joseph says, you should not feel guilty for your father's behavior and you certainly shouldn't feel blasphemous - your father is a an adult and like all of us needs to find his own path and make his own mistakes/enjoy his own steps forward.  Of course you care dearly for him, but you cannot control him either as I'm sure you understand.

There are a number of progressive christian pod-casters and you-tubers, including bible scholars, but these vary in their focus.  I would suggest a Google search and review.  

I wish you, and your father, well.

Regards

Paul

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

45 minutes ago, WandaMc said:

 

Hey, everybody. I have a problem, and I come seeking help. 


I've typed and retyped this several times. I feel guilty and blasphemous talking about this. 

My father is living with me, and he is driving me crazy. 
He listens to televangelists all day. Specifically, right now, the emphasis is on Doug batchelor, but there are dozens of others. 

He says he's "studying," and when asked to clarify, just repeats himself. He is convinced the world is coming to an end, probably tomorrow. He is nominally a progressive himself, but whenever he listens to any of these preachers, he accepts whatever they have to say as gospel truth. He is constantly entrenching himself in dangerous right wing rhetoric. Convinced that every nation on earth wants to blow America off the map because it's a Christian nation, while simultaneously seeming to believe that america is some kind of secular hellscape. 

I feel awful saying anything about it. I feel like I'm going against God, because I don't want him "studying," I feel like I'm being blasphemous. 

It got so bad a few months ago, to the point where he was ordering things online, donating a significant portion of very small SSI check to right wing "charities," and spending every single waking hour listening to men yell and scream about how the world is ending, and it's all the fault of whatever minority group was the fan favorite for the day. I couldn't take it anymore. I changed the password on the wifi, told him his phone had viruses, and I had to send it back to Verizon to get serviced. 
The youtube recommendations on the shared account we used went from primarily videos about homesteading and news, to videos about the end of days, why the gay agenda will destroy america, and secret Jewish plots. It was bad, y'all.


Like I said, he's nominally progressive. He supports many progressive causes, but there's this cognitive dissonance between him as a person, and him as an evangelist. 

He's gotten very, very into Messianic Judaism and the seventh day adventists, though I don't know very much about either of those groups, to be honest. I don't know if they're inherently right wing, or if he's just found the right wing of them. 


My lie about the phone has reached an end, I can't keep putting it off anymore, and the moment I "get the phone fixed," it's going right back to where it was. 

Are there any progressive/left leaning televangelists, podcasts, youtubers, anything? I need help, and I'm legitimately concerned for him, and I have this horrible racking guilt about this. I don't know what to do. 

Can any of you help me, please?

Welcome, Wanda.   He needs to be around real live Christians, which is not easy to do these days.  Food banks and thrift store volunteering are good opportunities here.

He can’t obsess over ideas when he is helping others.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Of course you feel guilty, he's your father, you love him and it is a very difficult situation. 

Not sure if you have a family of your own to consider but it must be a toxic situation to always be surround by such stuff - toxic even if it is just you. 

I agree that you need, if you haven't already, to have a heart to heart with him and if it doesn't change then you have a tough decision: live with it or find him another place to live. There is also a possible 3rd way, tough love: sometimes the best approach is to say "this is my house and I don't want this nonsense in my home. I won't pay for it and I don't believe in it and I don't want it polluting my home. You can live here but this stuff ends." You can also tell him (again if you haven't already) that it is really harmful for you and your peace and health. Hopefully if he remembers he loves you, he might begin to see that he has to change.

It's not easy.............

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...

I think the current situation is very nuanced and has to be handled with respect and compassion on your part AND on his. I think those shows and videos are filling a need or feeding a hunger for answers in this crazy world and present situation. But they are not feeding that hunger with anything healthy. I would try to switch to anything you can both agree on, even if you have to go back to Billy Graham or going to a local church that doesn't espouse those dangerous views. It upsets me greatly that the Alt Right view themselves as Christians and because they are louder than us, non-believers think that's what Christianity is all about. I like the comment from Burl. It does bring joy when I am actively helping others. Your Dad might like that too. May God bless you and your Dad in this challenge and bring you closer to each other and closer to HIM!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This looks like an old thread, and without some notification that there's an answer up here it seems very unlikely that the person concerned is going to see it. Is there some way of getting a notification system up here when a response comes in?

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/20/2021 at 3:26 AM, John Hunt said:

This looks like an old thread, and without some notification that there's an answer up here it seems very unlikely that the person concerned is going to see it. Is there some way of getting a notification system up here when a response comes in?

 

Other than quoting somebody (like I have you here - so you should have received a notification that I replied to your comment) the only other way I think is if it is your thread (like it is WandaM's here) then they should also receive a notification that somebody has commented in the thread they initiated.  So in short, WandaMc should get notifications that somebody has commented in their thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

By that, Paul, you mean a notification on the site?

I haven't had an email notification from the site, prompting me to look at something....just wondered if that kind of thing was possible. Without, it's something I just don't remember to do (looking at the site to see what's come in, and if there's anything specific to me). 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/6/2021 at 7:27 AM, John Hunt said:

By that, Paul, you mean a notification on the site?

I haven't had an email notification from the site, prompting me to look at something....just wondered if that kind of thing was possible. Without, it's something I just don't remember to do (looking at the site to see what's come in, and if there's anything specific to me). 

John, I replied to you on this topic in the science and religion thread on March 14th 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/6/2021 at 10:27 PM, John Hunt said:

By that, Paul, you mean a notification on the site?

I haven't had an email notification from the site, prompting me to look at something....just wondered if that kind of thing was possible. Without, it's something I just don't remember to do (looking at the site to see what's come in, and if there's anything specific to me). 

John,

Did you have a look at Rom's guidance?  Here it is repeated in case:

Click on yourself top right hand corner
Account settings
Notification settings
Mentions and My Content
Highlight email

You should be able to activate either or both site notifications and personal email notifications.

image.png

Cheers

Paul

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/10/2021 at 6:13 PM, John Hunt said:

Thanks Paul, sorry to be so dumb.

John

:) You're far from dumb, John, I have no doubt.  Hope it's now working okay for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

terms of service