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Out Of The Wilderness


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Hello folks.

My name is Martin and I live in one of the most rundown and deprived parts of Northern England ~ Hull.


For many years I was a dedicated fundamentalist, wedded to Reformed theology, a proud Calvinist and true to all five points flowing from the synod of Dort. I was also, and still am, an ordained priest in the Church of England.


Some twenty years ago a crisis of faith took place. I had attended a lecture by the well known Australian Evangelical Phil Jensen. He was urging us all to be truly radical in our ministry. The word "Radical" stuck in my mind. It comes from the Latin "Radix", meaning "Root".


I examined my roots. I assumed my true Root was the inerrant Bible. But I was in for a shock. For I realised then and there that I was worshiping an idol, for the truth was that my real Root went beyond words, let alone any inerrant fantasy. My Root was and is Jesus. Boom!


The shock wave of this realisation blew me into a spiritual wilderness. My Theological castle, made of sand, crumbled to dust. I resigned from active ministry and gave up reading and study. I shrugged off the clothing of religion. I roamed a mental wilderness, but could not bring myself to deny the call of Jesus. The Hound of Heaven, unperturbed, stayed on my track.


Slowly He ran me down. Eventually I stopped running. Then I began to show symptoms of Parkinson's Disease, amongst them was an awful, mind crushing inability to read anything but the most simple detective novels. This, in a man who once devoured Calvin's "Institutes", John Owen's multi volume Works, not forgetting the thunderous words of Jonathan Edwards. This went on for years.


Then I heard rumours about using very small doses of "Magic Mushrooms" to counter the symptoms of Parkinsons. Doses well beneath anything psychoactive. I began to dose myself. Within weeks I was reading serious books again. I began to read Spong, who's words began to draw me back from the wilderness. I became a "Believer in exile".


And thus it is I came to this place. Still Heaven's Hound bays at my heel. But now no idol intervenes. Empty, I await the future. What God (?) has in store, I know not.



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Martin i am excited about your energy and experiences having grown spiritual wings and your soaring above your previous self. May you give us insights from your lofty perspective. We are lucky you landed here, I hope you stay for awhile.

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Hi Martin


I'm new too :) look forward to learning and growing together.


I am new to religion, yet a series of events has finally allowed me to know Jesus and his teachings it all its true beauty always guiding me in uncanny ways.

Recently after a whole weekend away in the country discussing and contemplating on certain biblical topics, ended with a healers market in the town with a whole table filled with books about Jesus and spirituality in a way I had perceived things so far, along with Spongs book, giving more answers, and a knowing I wasn't alone in my views even though it seems like it on the surface which ultimately led me here too.


I look forward to learning from those with many years knowledge on me, and still open to hearing new views :)

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