Parenting, Entitled Kids And The 'worry Ball'

[AnnieG]

I read an interesting book about the tendency of modern parents to cling tight to 'the worry ball,' preventing kids from taking responsibility for their interactions with others or learning from risk-taking and failure/ disappointment:

Drop the Worry Ball: How to Parent in the Age of Entitlement [Paperback] Alex Russell (Author), Tim Falconer (Author)

Seems too that there's a fine line between fostering kids' self-esteem and raising kids who believe they're entitled to everything they want.

 

This idea of 'entitled' kids is helping me prepare to deal with a Christmas that won't include an x-box, a kids' motorbike or a German Shepherd....

 

 

Annie

[matteoam]

I have not read the book but have heard the topic in other contexts. I have a three and a half year old boy and a newborn. I am not financially affluent or well off but have provided my 3yo with an stable and safe environment with "stuff" but don't think I spoil him. I have seen the normal stages of his ego developing so all is "mine" especially when it comes to his new brother as well as with playing with other children on his turf. I try to nip this in the butt so to speak by trying to emphasize that his "stuff" is only his to the extent that he shares it. He is obligated to share. I try to counter his more selfish tendencies by countering them with the modicum of reason that "other children don't have this or that" which is why he needs to share. What is "his" is not entitled to. I am also seeing his eagerness to help with chores with me or my spouse. I use this as a precursor for instilling his ability to earn money - a quarter if he helps me do this or that. I hope to instill in him over the few years the sense of the value of money. Sort of how John D Rockefeller was raised to value money's worth and instill charity in my son in relation to giving "his" money as his entitlement to it has its limits.

 

I hope this is relevant to the conversation as an opinion.

Edited December 10, 2013 by matteoam

[NORM]

I think that children need to be exposed to those who are less fortunate so that they can gauge their respective "comfort."

 

We were by no means wealthy, but we had what we needed; basic shelter, food on the table, etc.

 

As a family, we volunteered quite a bit (through our church, mostly) to help with soup kitchens, food pantries, and various, sundry works programs dealing with the poor, elderly and mentally challenged individuals. Our children worked right along with us - so, they probably had a greater appreciation for our personal situation than most kids their age. They've most certainly seen many, many folks who were in dire circumstances. Neither of our children seemed spoiled or unappreciative of their lot in life. I think exposure to those less fortunate is partially responsible for that.

 

For myself; I spent my first summer break from college in Haiti. It was that experience that cured me of my 70's spoiled brat mentality.

 

I am just thankful that the genetic lottery was favorable to me.

 

NORM