A Tentative Return...

[jonnyb]

Hi, it's been quite a while since i have been on the site. Back then I was excited about discovering progressive christianity, and even wrote a post about what a great place I was in.

 

However, the whole 'spiritual journey' hit a bit of a rough patch for a while. I wont go into all the details, but one factor was that my new found interest in the Bible began to dwindle, due to the 'good stuff' being more and more outweighed by the slightly dubious stuff. I started to wonder 'I know how to be a good person, i live a reasonably good life, what's the point in reading this at all?'

 

Also, i was finding it harder and harder to be part of the music group and study group in my church. My 'beliefs' are very different from theirs. Essential stuff, too - like my lack of belief in divine intervention and the trinity. Relentless talk of 'God's plan' and the interpretation of every random occurrence as god's will was really getting to me.

 

Also, i have a person close to me who has been on a similar journey, however they are now headed back in the direction of evangelical christianity so i'm not sure we are 100% on the same wavelength any more.

 

So I wrote an email explaining why i was leaving the music group, which was shared with a lot of the church leadership. (i agreed that it could be, i dont want to explain why i left to each individual person).

 

I find church a little bit of an endurance now. i just want to get to the other end without someone taking me aside for a little chat, or inviting me to a 'coffee, sometime?' i do feel like the person who has a little problem and just needs to talk to someone about it and i'll soon be straightened out. However i dont want to leave the church as my wife and kids enjoy it and i want to support them, and there are people i like there, too.

 

One positive is that I feel the real clarity of mind that only comes when something is out in the open. I have wanted to still be a 'christian' of sorts, a follower of the way of Christ, but i found it very difficult when i am part of groups whose idea of christianity is very different than mine. you can never be anything more than the confused person who hasn't got it quite right.

 

So with this new freedom, i find myself thinking of getting back into christianity (my own version ) a little bit. So i'm back here and finding your discussions as interesting and affirming as ever. There are a few books i'm wanting to read.

 

I'll see how it goes!

 

thanks for looking

Jonny

[PaulS]

Good on you Jonny for sticking it out, church and TCPC!

 

I hope you find a balance that suits you and your family.

 

Cheers

Paul

[Raven]

Everyone's journey is different, and what you need and want may not be the needs and wants of other people. I think it's great that you're willing to step back, think for yourself, and allow yourself the space to do what you need to do. Sending you lots of good thoughts!

[AdrianC]

Jonny,

 

Your church experience is very much like mine. I am so much seen as "the confused person who hasn't got it quite right". I ask all those difficult questions!

 

They know I'm knowledgable about the bible, but somehow I just don't "get it".

 

It is a chore to go to church. The wife and kids like it, so I go, and I love the people. Just don't like what they say sometimes!

 

A.

[jonnyb]

thanks for replies, guys.

 

Yeah Adrian, sounds very similar. for me, i want to make sure that i don't live up to the 'confused, lost person' thing, and keep my head held high and the smile on my face, to give the message that i am perfectly happy as i am.

 

Jonny