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A Coincidence That Is Hard To Ignore


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When it comes to meaningful coincidences I am a skeptic. Parking spaces? Really?

 

I can't find a shorter way to narrate this but my focus in on the coincidence.

 

Yesterday morning I was discussing my experience with depression and counseling with a woman with similar issues. She is just starting counseling. My counselor and I agreed that after four years I might stop seeing him on a regular basis. In describing my experiences with counselors I made an oblique reference to my doubt about a certain period of counseling. That maybe another counselor believed me too easily. I didn't reveal that this was concerning being abused as a child by my father. My doubt began when I was shocked in reading my brother's written account. I wanted a nicer story I guess. Doubt worked for me. Maybe yes, maybe no.

 

Last night anyone watching knew what was about to happen at the end of PBS's Masterpiece, Place of Execution. The investigative reporter would hand over a package of photos of abuse of many children and then she would hand over a single photo and acknowledge that it was of her, something she had not remembered.

 

I was not surprised by any of this. But when it was actually on screen I felt - I can't think of the right words - but punched in the stomach comes to mind.

 

1. In the morning I had expressed doubt - it is a nicer way to hold the memory, I guess.

2. In the evening I am reminded at a deep level that it was real.

 

I have written a lot about how we make our meaning after the experience. This coincidence is hard to ignore. When it comes to being skeptical about meaningful coincidences I guess I am now agnostic.

 

Dutch

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