Hi!

[Lauren]

I've been a member here for a good year or more and have never posted- or maybe I have long ago to introduce myself, but can't remember. If I sound a bit familiar - though I'm sure many "hello's" are common in their story - skip to the end and say hello back!

 

I was raised in the Presbyterian church in the 70's - went every Sunday and vacation bible school too! I remember loving it and the church family. Mom sang in the choir, we did a few family fellowship activities on the weekends. I was enamored with the Christ story and all the Bible stories! Then as I grew older, I began to realize that Dad never went (he claimed to not believe in a Guy up there in the clouds; I never did either, but we never had that discussion!) As I became a teenager, I began to feel as though I was too "cool" for church - that those involved were lame, too goody goody. I strayed from the church through my high school and adolescent years, and truthfully - now that the kids were "raised" in the church, so did my parents. I'm pretty sure church was something "good" to do in raising your kids - not for any personal reasons.

 

Through college, I feel as though the Lord kept putting people in my path to open my eyes, and I'd again become enamored for awhile. Went out with a "Born Again" guy that became so "pious" that everything we previously did together was all of a sudden taboo. I'd attend his "home group" whose members immediately hugged me and included me as if I was their long lost cousin, as the leader preached to us about the Bible saying, if you believe in the Bible, you must believe ALL of it, not pick and choose what you were comfortable with. I decided once again I was just uncomfortable with all religion.

 

When I met my husband, he was the grandson of a Lutheran missionary pastor - his mother and aunt were born in Japan, staying there til their teen years. I rolled my eyes thinking that God just couldn't leave me be. I found God to be like an unwelcome gnat that wouldn't leave me be!

 

I was brought to tears, however, in talking to the pastor that was going to marry us. He knew me not, yet he spoke to my heart as if he'd known my thoughts, doubts,-- my entire history with religion!

 

I signed back up into the Lutheran faith -- we are the more liberal of the synods (ELCA) -- and have raised our two kids here (they are now 15 and 18). I'm heavy into the church program, following in Mom's footsteps in the choir, but also the bell and tone chime choirs, co-lead a Book Club, am active in a small group, and am trained as a Stephen Minister. The kids, like my parents, we encouraged them to stay active through their confirmation - but after that, I feel it's up to them. I don't want to push/force anything.

 

Especially since the older I've gotten the further I feel I've strayed from traditional religion. I've always had a hard time with the "validity" of the Bible, and also feel that there are so many other truths out there. How can we possibly say that we are the only way to God? I've also been turned off by the attention to an afterlife and sin -- ponderings of: Can you do this and still call yourself a Christian? I guess that's what has turned me off so much in the past or kept me from fully giving myself over to a relationship with Christ - feeling as though we all needed to be these cookie cutter images of Christ, those quoting quotes and publically praying for the masses and uttering "Hallelujahs".

 

I was years ago directed to Marcus Borg's work - Meeting Jesus Again for the First Time - by an old pastor of mine. First reading was shocking to me - I needed that "post-Easter" Jesus story of my childhood. Picked it up years later and now feel that the resurrection isn't as important to me as His life and what that means for me now. Also being a part of a 12 step program has opened my eyes to a "God of our own understanding" that puts no limits or prior knowledge to my Creator which has opened me up to a multitude of faiths including Buddism, Hinduism and the Sacred Feminine.

 

Now, I'm having trouble sitting within my Lutheran church pews, having trouble uttering the creeds, or listening to the theology in the sermons, but feeling the need to stay here because of family -- and because I'm so connected in activities and service work. I'm also feeling as though I have horns growing out of my head were I to share any of my thoughts, ponderings with my small group. Though we call ourselves "The Church Ladies" - because we're far from your avg. conservative church ladies of past - there are still those that are miles apart in belief from me. Saying they'll "pray for me" when I open my big mouth! I attend another all women's group - a "Wisdom Circle" formed to discuss, wonder, delve into the Sacred Feminine....but it's just a beginning. A small peek of what I feel is actually enormous, hiding behind the curtain!

 

So....schools out for summer and I thought I could be more active in the summer's months while I stay home once again to chaperone adolescent summer activity in my house!

 

Hello!!

 

Lauren

[JosephM]

Hi Lauren,

 

Welcome. This is your first post and it was so ever moving. To me, it seems the Spirit can use everyone to give us what we need at the time in our journey right when and where we need it. Yet to park beyond the limits of the meter that is individual to each of us can be stressful and uncomfortable. We must make the decision to continue on our own or get caught up in the herd. It is often a lonely journey but there are many here who have passed on similar roads.

 

To me, views and opinions are subject to change as we grow in wisdom and knowledge. But actions are less deceptive than stated beliefs. PC points 5 & 6 say much to me and i hope also to you. I believe you will continue to find a lot of inspiring information on this site as you see that you are not alone in your feelings and observations of life.

 

Again welcome,

Joseph

[Mike]

Welcome to the board Lauren. Though we have different religious backgrounds, your story and journey still resonated with me, and I look forward to your participation here.

 

Now, I'm having trouble sitting within my Lutheran church pews, having trouble uttering the creeds, or listening to the theology in the sermons, but feeling the need to stay here because of family -- and because I'm so connected in activities and service work. I'm also feeling as though I have horns growing out of my head were I to share any of my thoughts, ponderings with my small group. Though we call ourselves "The Church Ladies" - because we're far from your avg. conservative church ladies of past - there are still those that are miles apart in belief from me. Saying they'll "pray for me" when I open my big mouth! I attend another all women's group - a "Wisdom Circle" formed to discuss, wonder, delve into the Sacred Feminine....but it's just a beginning. A small peek of what I feel is actually enormous, hiding behind the curtain!

 

I'm currently a member of a moderate-to-liberal Presbyterian church. My own perspective is heavily influenced by eastern thought...and Western skepticism.

Though it is an inclusive atmosphere at my church, I have to watch what I say too!

 

This 'Wisdom Circle' sounds very interesting. I'm finding that sometimes it is needful for one to find groups/communities outside the church. It kind of supplements what you're not getting in your church experience.

 

The first thing that came to my mind when you mentioned the Sacred Feminine was a name, Katy Taylor. She does some very beautiful sacred music, and her favorite theme is the divine Feminine.

 

Peace to you,

Mike

[Robert Gutleben]

Welcome, Lauren, to a more active role in progressive Christianity,

 

I hear more and more people talk about their desire to enter into an experience of faith that will take them to a deeper experience of the kingdom of God. Your mention of Marcus Borg prompted me to look him up on the internet. I immeiately related to his views on the interpretation of Biblical scripture. For a number of years I have using myths such as the Grail myth and its submyths, such as the story of Parsifal and The Wounded Fisher King, the Handless Maiden, Tristin and Isould, Iron John, etc. I have also found books by John Sanford and Robert Johnson give powerful insights about Scripture and inner-world consciousness.

 

May you find the truth you are longing for. TCPC is a great place to explore.

 

Blessings

 

Bob the facilitator

[soma]

Lauren salutations to the Divinity within you, the light that brought you here. Look forward to hearing your wisdom.