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Non-Marital Sex

Jay Tee

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Non-marital sex includes pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, polygamy and polyandry, monogamy, open-relationships, and, of course, cheating and adultery.


What does the Bible, Jesus, and God have to say about such sexual relationships?


Are they sins? All of them, some of them, none of them?


What makes sexual acts and relationships sinful or righteous?


Can they be neither sinful nor righteous? (Think neutral - as in not happy nor sad.)


What is Progressive Christianity's overall view?


What are your views?

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I’m not really sure what ‘progressive Christianity’ has to say about relationships, aside from being accepting of people regardless of sexual orientation. But I am of the mindset that if a relationship is consensual (obviously), responsible and maintainable, motivated by love and not more fickle desires, not causing harm to either person, then I don't see what could be 'sinful' about it. I think the bible has generally brought to us in the West this view of romantic love as contractual, committed, non-abusive to either party (despite the lesser social status of women - I would not consider the bible 'perfect'). But the general idea is there, and I think it happens to be a good idea for many reasons. I do believe in marriage, but not in perhaps the strict or black-and-white sense that a more conservative-fundamentalist reading of the bible would provide. I’m sure this idea is present in other cultures, but not all of them. I’ve never really studied the subject so I'm only saying what was floating in the back of my head.


Peace to you. And welcome to the board, by the way.



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God's all about LOVE, and that doesn't mean a transitory feeling like lust, but rather truly wanting what is best for the other person regardless of your own feelings. Sometimes sex can be for selfish reasons or even for one's own ego boost. I think it would be up to the individual person who is trying to reflect God's glory to carefully consider their own motivations. Also, I wish that people would think more often about the possible unintended consequences when the relationship is not for the long-term. I have seen too many unwanted, unloved children!

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It seems to me that there are reasons for people being circumspect in their sexual activity that have nothing to do with religion. Using the Bible to answer questions about sexual behavior is ok so long as it is only to support what good judgment and respect for others leads one to believe. In particular, I think that those who are sexually active (with others--not with themselves) before they have a sense of who they are and how they relate to others is risky with regard to being able to develop good intimate relationship later on. And those who are in committed relationships risk damaging the well-being of the other person in that relationship if they violate the implicit terms of it (i.e. if they cheat).

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