RubySera Martin

Willard G. Oxtoby edited a two volume set called "World Religions." One volume is subtitled "Western Traditions," and the other is subtitled, "Eastern Traditions." He wrote one or two chapters and the introduction. There is a chapter for each religion he covers and most of them are written by individuals who practice the faith they write about. It's not the easiest book to read but it contains much information.

I just joined. Still wet behind the ears. Did I see flowperson on this thread or was it on the other thread I posted--about Spiritual Abuse, maybe. It was flowperson who suggested I post here. And it was Alethia, whom I know is on this thread, who gave me this address. I want to thank both of you for the encouragement. Maybe I should say this in my own intro, which I plan to post in just a bit. Luth, reading your first post made me feel right at home. As did your subsequent posts. Computer illiterate--that's how I feel, too. I'm looking for your first post to respond more accurately to it but can't find it without hitting "back" and I'm afraid that would delete the post I'm writing. You said Paul Tillich is your favourite theologican. Mine, too, so far. And the others you mentioned are also in the "right" category. Made me feel like I've found people like me. And someone said "let heretics abound," and called this a "batch of rebels." Wow! does this ever feel good! The reason I chose this thread to read is your name luthitarian. I am studying theology in a Lutheran seminary. And one of my classmates (she's moving on and I'm still there so I guess it's a former classmate now but we sat next to each other for about two years) is training for ministry in the Unitarian Church. So I heard a lot about Unitarians. And I wondered if perhaps you somehow or other mixed and matched Lutheran and Unitarian. So it was no surprise to see you moved from Lutheran to Unitarian.

I don't know where to start. This is my first post here, by the way. Two huge topics in this thread--spiritual abuse at the hands of fundamentalism and the fundy take-over of the US. Okay, that is perhaps somewhat exagerated. I am in Canada but the line that divides us from the Americans is thin and sometimes quite poros (sp? meaning full of pores or holes; things have a habit of moving north). Loveapple, you mentioned physical and sexual abuse going along with spiritual abuse. In my case it was severe emotional and psychological abuse along with spiritual abuse. Religion was used to justify and maintain abuse on many levels throughout my lifetime. I have now removed myself from the situation but at enormous cost. I don't think I can even sort all of what's what. Preaching that the hatred they practice is love. Telling me how much they love me while practicing hate. Scolding me severely for not loving the hatred they practice. Forcing one to choose between lying and being shunned from the community. Family love depending on acceptance by the community. Community acceptance depending on how family shaped me. Being forced by family and community to choose between lying about beliefs and being shunned by both family and community. Questions outside the box about the faith were forbidden. Had to accept things on faith or face condemnation. The Golden Rule. If I went out of my way to be nice and do to others what I would want if I were in their situation, I'd get severely scolded for not treating people decent. When I complained about something that others did to me I was severely scolded for causing the action. This was far more than simply spiritual abuse. Confusion reigned supreme in my whole being. In fact, it is only as I heal and get more distance between me and the things that they did that I can see how thoroughly confused I was. Mixed messages galore. Double standards--one for me and another for everybody else. Mom saying with such deep feeling it seemed sincere that she wanted her children to be able to trust her and to confide in her about their problems. But when I did I was severely scolded for having the problem. A few breakthroughs for me were: 1. when I realized through self-help books that my pain and life troubles were not all my fault, 2. when I found out that I had a right to feel hurt. A good eight years ago I entered university. That's a story all its own. But at the college I attended I experienced for the first time in my life what it is like to be accepted and respected for who I was. I was allowed to share my ideas. I was allowed to ask questions. The prof gave me more floor time than I knew what to do with because I had learned to say whatever I wanted to say with as few words as I possibly could, just to be able to get words in edge-wise. My first prof allowed me to think how I want to say, then he allowed me to say it, then he waited to see if I had more to say. That was a gift in and of itself. Many classmates and profs have over the years thanked me for my active class participation and for asking questions they wanted to know but did not have the courage to ask. The only response I can ever think of is to thank them for appreciating my input and for allowing me to share my ideas and ask my questions. They always think it's the religion. It was more than that. My family has hated me from day 1 but insists to the present day that they love me. I used to believe it was love that motivated people to treat me like they did but I am beginning to call it hate because it hurt so much. Plus, they made me feel guilty (put on guilt trips) for not appreciating their so-called love. Eight years of being treated as a human being with rights has allowed very much healing to take place. More than one person has told me that I am doing more than surviving; I am thriving. And I know they are right. But there is still much pain. I have never really had a chance to explore spiritual abuse. That is why the title of this thread attracted my attention.