JAM

Thank you to people for the welcome. I don't worry about the ebb & flow of discussion boards. It's been a month plus since I checked back in too, busy life like everyone else. One of the churches listed as a progressive church in my state from the list here on this site is actually pretty close to my home. But it's still part of a main denomination, and I just envision the possibility that it's another version of the same old crap that I'm trying to avoid. The last church I attended was pathetic. I think so many people go to church because it becomes a habit like toothbrushing. People hear words about God and sermons, say the words, but do people really believe and feel these things? And is going to a building every week an answer or help? Is it relevant to one's journey? I see these elaborate huge megachurch structures that obviously cost millions to build and how much money to maintain. Even a regular church structure costs enough dollars to maintain. Just seems that the energy and money maybe could go elsewhere. So it's a struggle, as part of me does ponder belonging to a church while at the same time having a real issue with the whole setup. Does that make sense?

I'm at the beginning phase of a new journey regarding this very issue of the word "Christian".After some of my experiences with "Christian" entities, I am inclined to run in the opposite direction when I hear somebody say such and such is "Christian". Have belonged to a couple churches, attended a "Christian" educational institution, and been employed by "Christian" entitites, and I can factually report back that it has been the most negative, hostile, lack of caring type experiences I've ever been through. Hypocrisy,apathy, and pro formism have been the main themes, and basically, well, no thanks. At this point in time, I am not willing to take a risk at looking for another church or denomination to join. I worry about being part of another bunch of political baloney. I'm not looking for "Christian". I'm looking to try to embody myself with principles that model after how the real Jesus would treat people.