Anna_mbd

Thanks for sharing. I think we all have troubles reconciling our true, inner self with the outer world. Even though I'm heterosexual, I've had challenges with all my insecurities and trying to conform my life and relationships to what they're "supposed to be" . If that makes sense. What I've found is that you have to be you. I really believe that God works in honesty and authenticity. Even in heterosexual marriages, some people know deep down that they aren't being true to themselves, and although they love the person, they're inner self isn't connecting or being it's "real"self. I've found that much religious doctrine puts this concept at the bottom of the pile and opts for conforming to the outer world instead. Religious rules cannot solve our inner being's struggle to find ways of being our true, authentic self. In fact, they can contradict them. Matthew's gospel says "let your yes be yes, and your no be no, anything more is from the evil one". I take it as the writer understanding that in us all is a certainty, deep down, of who we are and what we know. Our God is not a God of confusion. I think religion has added to many peoples confusion because it seldom supports the inner "knowing" or the inner "yes" and "no". Instead it maps out a list of yes and no for us. Even many heterosexual couples say yes to each other when really it's a "no" deep down. We conform to rules, standards, insecurities, etc. I take the "evil one" as not necessarily a being (who knows) but the opposite of truth. It's prevalent in us all, in the whole world, and we can sense when things are out of line with Spirit and Truth (different from religious doctrines might I add). If you know, in your true self, who you are, then say yes to it. Don't let religion confuse you on it or make you feel like you need to say "no" to your true self. God isn't interested in relating to a mask. That hymn comes to mind "come as you are, that's how I want you; come as you are, feel right at home." Religion is limited in its ability to understand and help in all spiritual realities. It is like trying to write a novel with only a handful of letters from the alphabet. Jesus' words (and the entire collection of writings), shouldn't contract our beliefs or understandings. I believe they are an attempt (albeit the best one out there!) to point outwards to something greater. Something that rules and regulations and doctrines can't always capture. Be you. Don't fear the truth and reality. You may be in a struggle and there is hardship and pain, but God will be where you are; with the real inner person. I don't ever think he would ask you to even attempt to construct a false version of yourself, psychologically and spiritually. It would be frustrating that you feel your body doesn't conform to the real you. And if surgery feels right, then you will have support from many along your journey either way, don't try forge a false inner person to suit the body. The body is flesh, but the inner is spirit. The inner is more true than the outer. If surgery could help you reconcile the two, then great. If it isn't an option, then life will still be joyful and wondrous. No one is robbed of that experience. at the end of the day, I think we will understand our journeys a little better in hindsight. In the meantime , your heart/gut/spirit knows where to go. It will lead you through pain... But at least it will be in truth.

Thanks BillM. Insightful and helpful

Hi There! Nice to hear from a younger person. Sometimes I think back to my 14 year old self and realise I knew some things better at that age than I do now! Enjoy your week

Thank you for reply, Soma. I certainly relate to your statement that spiritual experiences along the way are like resting places .. Consolidating what's happened so far and opening us up to new perspectives and onward travels. When I try merge Catholic doctrines and extra visionary messages with my journey, it just doesn't seem to fit at all. But looking at it as a starting point and a background does help. I really enjoy reading Spong and C S Lewis. Francis McNaught is another one I'd like to read. I do find it hard letting go of absolutes... But it's more of a "mind" thing. When it comes to the reality of the journey, they aren't as relevant.

Thank you Joseph and Soma. That's helpful.

Thanks Joseph. I agree also... As do majority if theologians. It's not a literal book. I guess I'm interested in their source... I find Catholic messages to be at odds with the spiritual journey. I'm very happy to find people who aren't necessarily part if particular denominations, but can come together and share experiences. It is definitely a letting go process. And learning to live with a degree of uncertainty. I think that's why I find it hard.. Because in a control freak at heart!! Always been a researcher and digging for answers. It's also, funnily enough, why I dislike detailed religious dogma; because it wants to have an answer for everything! And the answers don't always seem to fit. Thanks Joseph.

Thanks, Joseph. That's very true. The experience of Christ is different from the dogma. I also agree that it is the "end" that Jesus spoke about. I don't think Church tradition can encapsulate it. The sacraments are supposed to point towards it, but the proof is in the pudding...the traditions tend to close us off to the "now". I'm also interested in the difference between Jesus, and the Christ. Started to learn it at uni, but still hard to get my head around.

Hi Everyone! I'm a newbie. I'm from Australia. A bit about where I'm at and how I got here... I was raised Catholic but didn't have much interest. I was always a thinker, however, and spiritually inclined. At 19 I had an experience that I'll never be able to describe well... The language just doesn't exist! Lol. But basically time stopped as though it had always been an illusion, everything was unending peace, everything was intensely real and vivid. I remember gasping and it felt like it was the first time I'd actually ever felt the sensation of breathing. It was like waking up from a dream. Like I'd been living with a veil over my mind and eyes up until that point. It lasted for at least a few hours. It happened a second time a few days later. Completely spontaneous. This time it was with another person. I'd never met the person before that day, but something just suddenly clicked over or cracked open and we were both instantly in that eternity type awareness. I remember not even having to worry about or contemplate/formulate my words... Meaning just "is" and there was no barrier between language and understanding. Very difficult to explain. I was certain the world had ended and it was happening to every person in the world at the same time, lol. I intuitively understood it to be Eden (sounds strange, but I just knew it). Nothing could ever bother me again. Joy, peace, elation, connection, ect. Just pure, vivid, living reality. I remember as it "wore off" that my insecurities began to creep back and I again instinctively knew that I was experiencing what I understood to be "the fall". Anyway... I 100% moved away from any form of religion whatsoever after that. Even though the experience/awareness mirrored Christian mythology very strongly (e.g Kingdom of God, Eden, fall). I just COULDN'T find any similarity whatsoever between that experience and religious practice and dogma. They were opposite ends of each other. I spent the next 10 years away from Christianity. Later in life I found myself in a deep, dark, confused state over existence/afterlife ect. I was petrified and felt like some kind of foundation or spiritual stronghold or security had temporarily been ripped out from under me. I was alone... Really, really alone and had nothing to cling to or give me hope or peace or security. It lasted a few months and was perhaps the scariest time in my life. It wasn't just a matter of "thinking", it was like any form of spiritual security vanished. It all started after watching a Zeitgeist doco.. And spiralled over a few into sons kind if spiritually empty abyss! Again... Very difficult to describe. One day, I'd basically had enough if it and pretty much gave up on trying to find a solution or a way out (at that point I'd truly realised that there was nothing in the world that could save me from the horrible reality that for all I knew I'd become cosmic stardust and spend eternity floating in space for an afterlife!). I let go. I prayed my fear out loud and finally chose not to trust my own understandings. At that exact moment, a massive shooting star flew through the sky and I was instantly filled with peace. The fear has never (and can never) return. It was in the following months that I felt like I was lead to Jesus. He was the only one who made sense in light if my spiritual experiences so far. He gave assurance, he gave a promise, he found a way to "save" me from myself. No one else could do it the way he did. I also understand my previous experience in that timelessness type state as a Grace. I never did anything to deserve or earn it. I didn't ask for it or pray for it. I didn't prepare for it. It was nothing to do with me. I learned that I'd have to be content with not being able to quantify or explain it. I also learned that if I wanted it to be of any meaning, then I'd have to be humble with it and stop trying to "make something" out of it and instead just let the experience be a hidden thing that rather guides my steps and understandings. After that, I researched the religious side of Christisnity more, but every time I delve too deep into Catholicism, I begin to loose my joy, my spark, my passion, my liberation, my anticipation for God. I find overt religious language very annoying and find that it doesn't always reflect the true awesomeness of existence. So here I am... Not so Religious but a believer and follower of Jesus. I do, however, feel like there are some absolutes in Christ. Otherwise, our assurities of what's to come (and what is in fact already here!), would have nothing to rest upon. For me, Christ is not just a teacher or an image or a metaphor or a "way". He IS. I still have much to experience and to learn and to love. I also really enjoy hearing the knowledge and experiences of others.

Hi guys! First post here. I was raised Catholic but have a lot of angst in terms of how it affected our family life. My mother was obsessed with all the Marian and Jesus apparitions/messages and I read many of them growing up. Anyway, a few years back (after about 10 years of not having anything to do with Christianity) I encountered a different type of Saviour/Jesus than the one I'd been taught growing up. I Have been learning more about Him since. My question is this: Does anyone else find that the Voice/Mood/overall "feel" and message conveyed in revelations given in apparitions to Catholic (e.g Sr Faustina, Fatima ect.) are distinctly different from the ones given in the Gospels? I am quite confused. Learning the Old and New Testament has given me an awareness and zeal for life. Even the parables were written in a way that "woke us up" into a new paradigm. I still have pain and struggles in life but there is something vivid in the symbolism, events and characters of the bible that liven me and give me hope in the immediacy of God's Kingdom. The writings validate the very real spiritual journey that we're on. However, when I read messages given to Catholic visionaries, it does the opposite. The messages continually point to Church traditions and prayers. They seem to enclose the mind some sort of humdrum, somber, religious box. Jesus always uses very religious language in them, there is no element of surprise or wonder or spiritual connection. I don't mean to offend anyone, it's just that I feel like I should believe them because they are "officially" recognised, yet the feel I get from them is the opposite of the Jesus in the gospels. I'm a researcher at heart and would really like some opinions on it. Have any of you compared the message and tone between the Gospels and the Catholic visions? I'd like to be content with letting the visionary messages go... Maybe it's Catholic guilt that keeps me in partial chains to them! Any opinions? Thanks for your time