zzmel

Once again, I thank all of you. You did put my mind at rest. Your right, I do worry at times but I guess that is my nature. I know I can't control my destiny, only God will do that. What will be will be.

I have read all your responses and it made me feel better in that I don't have to worry what happens to me. I imagine as long as I can get up in the morning and do what I am able to do, then yes, I would say when the day comes and it will come, need not worry as you don't control what will happen to you. I have talked to other's about this and some of the answers were: I did everything in my life that I wanted to and now I can look back and remember all the great things have accomplished through out life. Then, I was told that when death comes or rather I leave this Earth, what do I have to worry about it anyway. For my part I have not done everything and mostly taking on the responsibility of doing what I wanted in life whether it would be for money or just accept the events that happened, then either way I would have to see what is in store for me. I cannot control what will be and if there is an afterlife. Sometmes, you wonder. Something interesting of a dream I had where there was a bright light behind venetian blinds that were open. I wanted so bad to close it and my power came from my mind to close the blinds. This was occuring over and over until the blinds wouldn't close. This was frightening in a way as that moment I woke up. What it interprets, I don't know but it was eerie. Here's a thought. I dont know if any of you have seen the movie Polerguist. It was a very scary movie in that there was a fight between God and the devil and this little girl was trapped between both. Her mother said "don't look into the light, stay out of the light." Finally she came back down out of the ceiling into the living World. She defeated the devil and he was outrageously angry and tried take revenge. A lot of things happened afterwards and finally the devil was destroyed. It ended in a way that I would want it to end. The ending was wonderful. That dream I had somehow reminded of the movie. Strange, isn't it? Well, I thought that I would add this in.

Thanks romansh for your input. I do not judge anyone of what their beliefs are. You are right by saying that live life to the fullest. I try to do that but with a lot of pain everyday, it is hard to do. Whether I am a true Christian, I don't know. I know I have practiced it in the past but I strayed away from religion itself. I have found that some people were hypocrites. Those were the few who distorted religion. I think you know what I mean. Becoming a member here has given me an opportunity to start afresh with a feeling that I can belong. How much I will be involved, I don't know yet. For one thing, getting an outside approach from mainstream Christianity, is help for me. Anyway, it is nice to know you, especially from BC. Fairly close to where I live near Seattle, WA. Take care.

Hi: This is the first time here. I have joined Bishop Shelby Spong at an earlier date. There is a wealth of interesting information but only read a few. I live in Burien, WA and really like it here. Moved from Las Vegas, NV. What a change! I have more to say but I will write it in another post which will be more suited for what I will write. Meanwhile, I have lots to learn about a new type of Christianity other than I was used to as conventional.

Hi Everyone: I am new here and something is perplexing me to no end. Here goes. In 1986, I was admitted to a facility as I was having major problems in my life. It was a Christian based facility and at the time, I did not know what Christianity was, at least to me. I was given the opportunity to become a new born Christian and then I felt a hand on my head and the person who did that prayed that I would accept Christ as being my savior. I had to repeat and said yes to all questions, reluctantly. All throughout the four weeks I was there, there were prayers three times a day and we always held hands. I never really felt anything. One time, holding hands, we prayed and I felt a surge throughout my body which I couldn't explain. I told everyone this and discussion was that I felt Christ. I felt so many hugs, that it was hard to explain. About a dozen books were given to each one of us regarding Christianity as well as a Bible. Throughout, I felt a camaraderie and made close friends with some of the people. There was all kinds of activities such as group therapy, one on one counseling, playing roles and others. When the time was to leave, I felt at a loss. I never saw one of them ever again and all I have was like autographs in one book which I read from time to time. I felt lost and was delusioned. I was checking out this new age religion called Science of the Mind and went to a few services. It was upbeat and although God was mentioned, it was a sense of God being here to rule our lives. Christ was only mentioned as a great teacher. That was it. I then quit and joined a church. It was evangelical and I liked the Pastor very much. What turned me off was the fact that you can join protests such as anti-abortion. Several of the young people in the congregation did just that, was arrested and went to jail. The next Sunday services, everyone that participated was boasting that it was in the name of Christ. That did not seem right to me. By the way, I was Baptized by my Pastor in the Ocean. It felt good and I was in was in a high all day, without drugs. lol Now, I am a real Christian. After that last service that I have explained, I left the church and went church hopping. I was really never satisfied with most of the other churches except one which was conservative Christianity. I went to services every Sunday by bus and had to walk some to the building. The Pastor was very nice and we spend many hours of discussing the Theology of Christianity. It sparked my interest and helped volunteer and even joined a Parish. My wife did not want to go and I did it all alone. Over time, everything went smoothly until I found out my Pastor and his family was going abroad serving as missionaries. When he left, again I felt at a loss. I did not ever go to church again. I had to do a preliminary introduction before I continue. Now, I am almost 76 years old and not in good health. I have all kinds of physical problems. There will be a time when I will no longer be alive on this Earth. I think of death more so than earlier years. Truthfully, I fear death and the unknown. I don't know how to deal with that. Being out of Christianity for so long has led me to believe that no one will hold my hand and guide me to heaven. My family, of course will. I don't know what heaven is really like and will I go there? By faltering in Christian beliefs of how I was taught, am I still a Christian. Will God accept me anyway? I shudder thinking of this. I know we are born and we die. I never gave much thought until I hit my senior years. I know I have been personal and honest with what I have written. Whether I get an answer or not, at least I got it off of my chest. I hope that you are blessed and God be with you. God Bless You, zzmel