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Raven

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Everything posted by Raven

  1. Paul, I agree with the symbolic viewpoint regarding communion. I've never felt that the bread/juice is *literally* the body and blood of Jesus, though I understand that some folks do. I think, for those folks, this whole thing would be a larger issue. I have a hard time understanding being so sticky about things, but I guess it depends on your viewpoint. Like, in a church that used actual wine - would they force it on a recovering alcoholic? I would hope not! But on some celiac forums, I've seen posts by Catholics saying that their priests have told them that their gluten-free needs mean their communion would not be "real" communion - a idea that, of course, is very upsetting to them.
  2. I'm not American, but I still find this exciting: http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1175685--obama-voices-his-support-for-gay-marriage I feel sorry for him though; this is going to open up a huge can of worms. He has portrayed himself as a man of God, and now that he has spoken about his support for same-sex marriage, some folks are going to try to mar his relationship with God and call him unChristian. Sad.
  3. Jenell, While it's true that cutting out wheat can have benefits for people's general health (wheat is a bloaty food), you are right in that it's not a miracle cure for everyone, and it takes the attention away from issues like cross-contamination for those of us who have a serious issue. Paul, Interesting - so she just hangs on to it herself. I'm not Catholic (United Church), so maybe the little things like that don't matter as much? I don't know, but from what I've read about this issue on some celiac forums, the Catholic church has been pretty unfriendly about the whole thing. I haven't found any non-Catholics talking about it, which is why I wasn't sure what I should do. In my mind, whether the bread was part of the "official church plate" or not, it would likely be "blessed/acceptable" by virtue of intent and prayer, no? Hm. I'm curious as to what the minister at the church will say. She is quite forward-thinking and hip, so I feel like she will be accommodating and kind. Here's hoping! Thanks everyone for your ideas!
  4. Dutch, Thanks for having my back! Actually my church does (or used to) pass the elements, pew by pew - bread and "wine" (juice) both. I (will) attend the United Church, so I don't think the Catholic-wheat-only thing applies...though I've heard of it causing problems for Catholic celiacs. I guess it's something I will have to bring up with the minister. Am I the only celiac here? That almost never happens these days! Kaykuck, Yes, gluten-free is more popular these days. It's good, because that means there are more things available in stores and restaurants, and people don't look at you like you're completely insane. "Glu....ten.....? " *HOWEVER* the faddishness of it has taken away from the severity. If someone is eating gluten-free food because they want to cut out wheat, rye, barely, and oats, and someone accidentally cross-contaminates their food, or forgets to hold the croutons, it's ok. However, if that happens to me ... well I'll spare you the details, but it ain't pretty. I have to be so clear now about "gluten-free because of severe celiac disease" instead of just "gluten-free," lest they think I'm some kind of hippy.
  5. Thank you all for your input. There are a lot of great ideas here! Joseph, "Your ears need not be garbage cans for others" is maybe the smartest thing I've heard in quite a while. What an excellent way to put it. I need to remind myself that I'm not under any obligation to respond emotionally/intellectually to what she (and other people) may say. George, that's what happened before. I walked away from her, and from our university church group, because of a lot of this stuff. I wish I could say I had directly told her the truth, but I didn't. Because I was leaving town anyway, it was easier to just allow the space to develop. Whether she knows the truth or not, I can't say. But you're right - I should assert myself in the future, and not allow myself to feel bullied or judged. Yvonne - thanks for sharing. The Corporal Acts of Mercy sound familiar as a "list" though the name does not - maybe I learned them as something else growing up. In any case, you make a great point. The "do's" matter, or should matter, more than people's ideas of the "don'ts." If faith is action-based, what do my actions say about my faith? Derek, your point reminds me of Lady MacBeth, protesting too much. This is important to think about. I guess in some cases, it's easier to point out what other people are doing "wrong" (in our opinions) instead of focusing on ourselves and what's going on in our lives. A person's journey ought to be personal, and not under the scrutiny of other people. Imagine what we could all accomplish if we took that energy and applied it elsewhere, instead of other people's business! Wayseeker, thanks for simplifying it that way. That is a great way to put it, and a timely reminder. If I want her to respect my space, my journey, and my relationship with God, then I need to allow her that same space. I will admit that I've been feeling judgmental myself, toward her, on and off through the years. I find myself stewing about her narrow interpretations and the restrictions she tries to put on others - I suppose I'm doing the same thing back to her, by allowing it to bother me. It's difficult because in a lot of ways she's a great friend - it's just this aspect that causes issues. On another thread, I mentioned this issue of raising kids in a fundamentalist bubble, where they don't have to think for themselves - pure indoctrination from birth. This is what happened to her, and mostly I feel bad for her. I don't (really) want to change her; I just want her to stop measuring my Christianity against her ruler, you know? I believe you can support gay marriage, a woman's right to choose, be a feminist, (etc) and still call yourself a Christian.
  6. ....for about 3 years. I apologise if it's a bit off-topic, but I didn't know where to put it. (Mods, please move if needed, with my apologies!) I have celiac disease, and the bread offered at communion would put me in bed for two or three days - yes, even just a tiny bite. So ... no bread. Also, no wine, as the people handling the wine might have handled the bread, and the cross-contamination just from that would hit me, hard. I've never been sure of the etiquette about this. Does anyone here have any suggestions, or any experience with this. I do miss communion, but I'm so unsure about how to tackle this.
  7. I just finished about an hour of Bible study - of course, more questions than answers. Sometimes it can be so exhausting.
  8. You all make some excellent points. Thanks for the insight. I treasure the relationship with my friend, but I get tired of being judged all the time. I guess I was/am curious if I was the only one who felt the same kind of frustration. I'm tired of feeling "less Christian" because ... well because I'm me instead of her. When faced with these kinds of situations, or confrontations, what can one say without being horrible? Is there a polite way to say "Stop pointing your finger at me!!"? I'm not interested in (or capable of, really) getting into a theological/Biblical discussion with her.
  9. Returning to the original point ... IMO, Religion is man-made, complete with rules and expectations, community punishments, and rituals. Faith is spiritual, between a person and their Higher Power, whatever form that may take, and how that spirituality is demonstrated in the real world. Religion can be more passive, where faith can be more active.
  10. I've been in touch lately with a fundy friend of mine. She's good people, but very, very conservative. In fact, her conservative nature (politically, socially, religiously) is one of the big reasons we drifted apart. Often, she'll say things like, "I don't drink, because I'm a Christian." Or, "I don't believe in premarital sex, because I'm a Christian." I understand that her fundy background directs a lot of her day-to-day life, but I'm not always sure how much of it is Biblical and how much of it is just fundy socialization. Sometimes I've felt heavily judged by her to be less of a Christian because of the way I live my life. It's frustrating, but I don't even want to ask her about it - it would just lead to more awkwardness. We are getting back in touch after a long period of quiet between us, but I'm still wary. I guess what I'm wondering about is everyone's take on the "Christian don'ts." Some things I've heard (from Fundy Friend and others) - women shouldn't wear pants or too much make-up - no dating without a chaperone - no premarital sex - no drinking alcohol or smoking cigarettes - no socializing with people who aren't (your type of) Christian, except to dialogue/convert - no dating/marrying outside your (type of) religion (I think this one relates to the verse in the Bible about not being unequally yoked) Any thoughts?
  11. David, As you yourself have demonstrated here, people can get hung up, very strongly, on using this word or that word. I don't mind what words people use here to talk about God, the Divine, their Higher Power, or whatever - and I would hope people would extend that same courtesy back to me. The word "God" works for me. Apparently, it works for you too. Why concern yourself with what other people are doing? No one's journey is the same as anyone else's, and (according to my interpretation of this space), PC is open to ideas, interpretations, facets, and so on. Removing "God" from the 8 points only renders them "godless" if you are too attached to the word instead of the meaning. If the word "God" works for you, fabulous - embrace it. If other people have a word that works for them instead, why worry about it? The intent and the spirit behind the journey matters more, I believe, than vocabulary choice.
  12. Interesting link, George. Thanks for sharing. I think, in many cases, evangelicals' hearts are in the right place. They do good service in communities, poor countries, urban areas, etc - it's just bothersome that it often has a quid pro quo feel to it. If volunteering at a soup kitchen, or visiting the sick in the hospital is part of your spiritual journey and brings you, personally, closer to God, then fantastic. If you're doing it to convert people, to rack up soldiers in God's army, then to me, that's a problem. Intent matters a great deal.
  13. It's not the advancement itself that worries me - it's the slippery slope of evil possibilities that follows. Being able to eradicate things like MS, spina bifida, etc would be beneficial to society, IMO. However, where does it stop? Should people be able to engineer the "perfect" baby? What would that even look like? It also sends a dangerous message that those who are differently abled (or just plain different) do not have value in our society. As for genetically-modifying food - again, good and bad. If scientists were able to create food that would be able to grow in places with drought, for example, that would be awesome. What a great way to help people who are starving! However, eating food that is "created" can cause health problems. For example, the aspertame vs. sugar debate - aspertame is artificial, and some (I include myself here) believe it to be worse for you than sugar - diabetics excepted, of course. My point is that there are good and bad sides to this (and in all things) and morality is an impossible thing to police. By the way - for those talking about sex-selection.... some countries that favour males over females are already suffering a shortage of marriagable, fertile women as the outcome of female infanticide. Now that sex-selective abortions are happening (and yes, I am pro-choice, that's not the point here) what does that mean for the future of humankind, related to population and balance? Science is awesome, and yet kind of scary.
  14. Personally, I like the word "God" and include it as part of my thoughts, meditations, posts here, etc. I hope that doesn't offend anyone. There is something comfortable, familiar with the word "God" that works for me. I also, particularly in conversation, will use "the universe" instead of "God," usually to be more inclusive and not sound like a nutbar. As for everyone else - have at it as you please. As long as everyone is being respectful, I don't mind what words people use. It's worth pointing out though, I think, that people form attachments to terminology, both out of comfort (as I stated above) and out of habit. I tried for twenty years to get my grandmother to stop saying "Oriental" - I never succeeded. That attachment, that habit, that comfort zone - it's hard to break out of it. (In ESL we call that "fossilization.")
  15. That sounds like a lot of fun. As a teacher, I definitely support "active learning" as opposed to "receptive learning" - though I can't imagine doing that in church! Haha the little old ladies would lose their hats! However, I think it's great to put people together and figure out not just what people believe, but WHY. That's such an important question. The more you talk, the more ideas and questions come out. Of course, that may be the opposite of what some churches/people want, but I can see how that could be really interesting.
  16. The concept of the Divine in nature is something that has absolutely always resonnated with me. I don't follow the Neo-Pagan/Wiccan way, personally, but I have always felt the presence of God in the natural elements very strongly.
  17. Inthedark - what kind of church do you attend? I've never been part of a service that had group work. Sounds interesting! Are you talking about regular Sunday service, or something else?
  18. Raven

    Chat Room

    I just want to add about the chat room - make sure no one has sent you a message before you exit the chat room! A couple of times now I've sent someone a chatroom message, only for them to exit without so much as a hello back. I really want to believe it isn't personal so just double-check before leaving the chatroom.
  19. Here's hoping. I look forward to the day that we look back on these times and scratch our heads.
  20. Respectfully, George, I think your comment's validity depends on what part of the world you're in. In North America, your comments are true for many, many people. However, there are many parts of the world where people continue to starve, suffer, die in child birth, and live in constant fear of war and other dangers. Speaking of obesity, I find it difficult to reconcile the obesity rates in so-called "developed" countries, while people all over the world are starving to death. Two different worlds - if not more.
  21. Thank you, Soma and Paul. The service was yesterday, and I booked today off work to just unwind and do nothing. I have been exhausted these last couple of days, but I'm glad to have had the service and hopefully achieve some closure. Onwards and upwards from here.
  22. Humanity has a great knack for taking great (or even neutral) advancements and finding ways to make them negative. For every great new discovery, there is someone waiting to use it for evil. It's very sad. I think there is a natural balance to changes and humanity. We live longer now thanks healthcare and modern medicine, but now we live long enough to suffer from illnesses we might not have dealt with before. We have convenient ways to have food now (pre-packaged, microwavable) but they are unhealthy and don't benefit us beyond saving time. Are we better off? Yes and no. In a lot of things, I think the key is moderation. Completely turning your back on modern society may not be the answer, but we also may not need all the modern conveniences we have, either. Growing your own vegetables, for example, is a great way to save money and avoid pesticides, while not paying grocery prices for organic food. On the other hand, I'm not about to get a cow for the backyard! Look at all the information, all the possibilities, ask all the questions - then make up your mind. We can do without more than we think we can, usually.
  23. Thank you - it's appreciated. The last few days were rough, the next few days will be too. And then? The move toward closure and peace, I suppose and hope. The funeral is next Wednesday. Tonight we (immediate family) are going out for dinner to just relax, have some time together, and not wallow too deeply. Psalm 23 has brought me a lot of peace these last couple of days.
  24. Hi everyone, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for the messages I've received and responses to the threads regarding my grandmother. I appreciate the prayers and kind thoughts from everyone. She passed away last night, relatively peacefully, and I'm thankful that her suffering was not drawn-out and agonizing. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone here. I haven't been a member very long, but this place feels like family. Thank you so much. Raven
  25. I don't think ex-gay ministries are healthy or helpful. I don't know anyone who's been through it, but there are a lot of interesting blogs and other writings on the internet where people have shared their experiences - negative, scary, hurtful seem to be the running themes. Ask the supporter this: Could enough therapy make you gay? Could you be reoriented to homosexuality? They will say no, of course not. BINGO! It makes me sad that people's churches encourage them to "pray the gay away" instead of embracing them for who they are. Unfortunately, there are so many myths and stereotypes surrounding homosexuality that people can't seem to figure out are a load of garbage. Narrow-minded, uneducated people hear "gay" (or lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, etc) and think: AIDS! Child molesters! Sexual deviants! Heaven forbid people do a little digging, a little talking, a little question, a little THINKING.
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