Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho !!! Boys and Girls.
Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, and so am I.
Mrs. Claus had to buy another three yards of red velvet to stich into the middle of my suit so my tummy will still jiggle like a bowl full of jelly when I laugh. I think that all of those homemade cookies and glasses of milk that I have to delightfully consume each Christmas eve is doing it. But I do not plan to curb my enthusiasm or consumption of goodies on this one blessed night of the year.
Reindeer that can fly are getting harder and harder to find in the Arctic these days. I used to be able to count on my Swedish and Norwegian friends the Lapplanders to provide them when I ran short. But with global warming melting the permafrost up here, the flying deer are getting their feet stuck in the mud and fall on their noses when they try to pull free to run to get up enough speed to take off. Rudolph has to constantly clean the muck off of his nose these days in order for his beacon to light the way. But I digress.
Remember to be good boys and girls because you know that the NSA will be monitoring all of your communications of my behalf so I that can know who has been naughty and nice right up to the second that we take off. Timing is everything you know.
I really hate to leave people lumps of coal and empty coke bottles in their stockings if they misbehave and do mean things to others.
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night !
S Claus....