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Are We Welcoming Of Those Of All Sexual Orientations?


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#41 Raven

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Posted 15 April 2012 - 10:47 PM

I would like to add a couple of points here, if I may....

Sadomaschism is not a sexual orientation, but simply a type of sexual behaviour. It is more than possible that people into S&M, bondage, role-play, etc are sitting beside you in church already. As long as people are consenting, what kind of sex they have is their business, IMO. Would it change your mind about the people you know if you knew about their particular, personal kinks? Would you want to be judged by yours?

Rape is also not a sexual orientation. Rape is not about sex, but about control, power, and denigration. If you like your sex (as it was phrased above) through the force of a knife to someone's throat against their will, that's not a sexual orientation, but a whole different issue. Everything I've heard/read about rape indicates that the people who commit these kinds of crimes are not typically able to be rehabilitated, so there isn't much of an argument for a "reformed" rapist. Do I think they should be included from the church community? If there is a chance that they might harm a member of the community, than the community has a responsibility to look after itself. Of course, that's not to say that you might not be surprised by someone's behaviour (just because they haven't raped before, doesn't mean they might not tomorrow) but knowing what we know about sex crimes, it's wise to be cautious. I believe that prison study/worship programs are a positive idea, though.

Homosexuality is not related to these other issues, and considering homosexuality in the same conversation as child rape gives life to a dangerous, unsubstantiated slippery slope. Are some homosexuals child molesters? Yes - but so are some heterosexuals. Again, rape is not about sex.
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#42 Inthedark

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 06:27 PM

I work with some of the criminal people you have discussed in this thread. As others have pointed out, homosexuality has nothing to do with the others in the list who partake in criminal offending.

There are usually mitigating circumstances in why a person chooses to abuse children, or rape or commit other crimes; things that have happened to them in their past at a critical time in their development, which allow them to behave without remorse in their partular "normalised" behaviour. A child abuser I dealt with some years ago was repeatedly raped by his father every other night as a young boy, always together with violence. The boy grew up to do the same, to seek out opportunities to act out what happened to him and he did this through a church group. The investigation uncovered that over a 5 year period he sodomised many young children. Most parents were unaware but some did become aware and chose to pray for him together with him rather than report the abuse. Imagine how their son felt when he gets the courage to reveal the offending that has taken place against him and they do nothing except pray, and so the systematic sodomy continued night after night. I'm getting off track... :rolleyes:

I suppose my point is the people who commit these types of crimes are damaged, possibly beyond repair with regard to right thinking. They can try to control their feelings if given the right tools to do so but they may "fall off the wagon" on occasion. When they do so, lives are destroyed as a consequence. They will seek out opportunity to offend or at least fantasise about offending, so church groups, scouts, youth groups are attractive places for certain people with particular interests. There is a trust that comes with being with such organisations, which is not earned but tends to be given simply by association with that organisation. There are signs for others to see if their eyes are open to the signs.

These people are in our community whether you like it or not and they always have been. Be smart as to risky situations but be Christian in your values I suppose is what I am saying. If you are aware of their feelings and they are trying to control that side of them, support them. What other choice do we have? People are still people. Just be smart about it. I know of at least one male in my congregation who has sexual fabtasies about young children. He is married with a couple of kids and a puppeteer amongst other things. I simply manage situations where my kids are at church in whatever environment so that I know there is no oppportunity for him to offend - he has not offended that I know of, simply had the thoughts.

Just be kind and be smart.

I'm rambling again.

Regards

Paul
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#43 GeorgeW

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Posted 20 April 2012 - 07:39 PM

Paul,

Good thoughts, thanks.

George
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