[the magician]

Hi Gang,

Reading the fantastic Heretci'a Guide (by Spencer Burke) reminded me of a wee story I wrote a few years ago. Thought it might ring a few bells! (I now tell it as I perfrom a small illusion... where a piece of yarn is stretched out, burned / broken, in five places, rolled up and eventually restored):


The Broken Thread

The Church was dark – darker than I had ever seen it, save for the solitary candle left as a flickering symbol of the last pilgrim’s prayer. This offering of wick and wax melted away in front of the austere icon of Christ the King, and, before that terrifying portrayal of God, I too began to melt. Melt, not as a lover’s heart melts in the arms of her beloved, but more as a puppy’s will melts in submission before his cruel and punishing new master’s raised right arm. Yet I found strength to speak.

‘My God’, I cried, ‘why do you have to look at me like that? You frighten the hell out of me. Why do you have to glare down with such severity, looking, so it seems, in aristocratic disgust at the pathetic creature beneath your feet? Why do I continually feel unworthy and unlovable – a mere worm to be trodden on, a fly to be squashed? My God you know I’ve tried –- tried so damn hard to please you. I’ve bust my back trying to achieve all those requirements set out by your ‘representatives’. Yet I still feel rotten to the core.

I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. I’m clinging to a sky-high tight rope stretched out across a treacherous chasm. I’m trying to inch my way across to salvation, but a hurricane wind’s bent on shaking me off into the flaming pit below. Maybe I should just let go? Maybe you want me to. Maybe the red-hot fire – the hell hot fire – is your way of purging me of my sins. Yet, if I do drop, I fear I’ll be purged out of existence.

My God, any moment this rope between us is going to break. I’ve let you down so many times – and each time I’ve felt some of the fibres give way.
Here it comes – your judgement!
Lack of faith – SNAP!
Poor church attendance –SNAP!
Looking at that woman – SNAP!
Losing it with my kids – SNAP!
My God, the thread between us is in tatters.’

I looked down, too numb to cry, yet what I saw made me tremble. There, on the floor, beneath my feet, glistening with candlelight ripples, was a pool of water, no! a pool of tears. I slowly followed their path – up and up – to the very face of Christ – the very eyes of God. I stood, motionless, gazing into love’s stare, my eyes now wet as his. And, after what seemed like an eternity, he spoke:


‘My child! My precious, precious child. How it crucifies me to see – to feel – your pain. Your failure has not been your faith or your actions. No! Your only mistake has been to believe the words of misguided men, men who’ve poisoned my good news and turned it sour, men who’ve put price tags on my free gift of Grace, unhappy men who’ve projected their own worst nightmares, their own darkest shadows, onto me, and have thus unintentionally created a god in their own image.

My child, I was never far from you, nor will I ever be. Even if you do ever cease to believe in me, I will never cease to believe in you. I don’t require sacrifices or ego-effort. I don’t expect sinless perfection. My kingdom is not a meritocracy, my Grace is free, and my love is unconditional. And, be sure of this, the thread that holds us together – that binds us together – will never, ever be broken.’

[JosephM]

Mark,

Great Story to share.

Thanks,
Joseph

[the magician]

Thank you Joseph,

Have you read Spencer Burke's book?

Mark

[JosephM]

the magician, on 13 August 2009 - 12:04 PM, said:

Thank you Joseph,

Have you read Spencer Burke's book?

Mark

No I haven't Mark. Other than the Bible and books from TVD Bible College, perhaps I read two books a year. Yours was number 3 this year so I am setting a record. Eckhart Tolle's book, "A New Earth" was this years project. His book helped me to put in words experiences I have had. If I were to recommend only one book, it would be that one. I only read a few pages and put it down in silence. One of the reasons I personally do not like to read alot is because i have come to realize that the mind is easily persuaded to accepts things that may sound logical or correct but are only the subjective conditioning of others.

As you wrote above in your OP... Your only mistake has been to believe the words of misguided men, men who've poisoned my good news and turned it sour, men who've put price tags on my free gift of Grace, unhappy men who've projected their own worst nightmares, their own darkest shadows, onto me, and have thus unintentionally created a god in their own image.

It seems to me it gets even more subtle than that and more difficult to recognize. Therefor it seems good to me to keep my reading to a minimum and commune directly more.

Just my thoughts on this,
Joseph

[the magician]

You know Joseph - you've just silenced me with your words. What you just said is very powerful and very profound. My own head is so so cluttered by trying to absorb sooooo much STUFF. And so you're quite right about leaving more space 'up there'.

Thank you!

Mark

Ps. (Hate to admit it but) I've read Tolle's A New Earth. It is one of the most beautiful and awe inspiring books I've ever read in my life.

Pps. I feel deeply honoured that you chose to read mine when you limit yourself to so few (thank you again my friend).

[soma]

Mark the story you wrote dripped with a deep devotion. Thank you for resurrecting that devotion in myself. Soma

[the magician]

soma, on 21 August 2009 - 04:35 PM, said:

Mark the story you wrote dripped with a deep devotion. Thank you for resurrecting that devotion in myself. Soma

Hi Soma,

So sorry, been away for a bit and only just logged on again.

Thank you so much for your very affirming comment.

With warm wishes,

Mark