Sign In
Register
Help
TheGreatWhiteBuffalo, on Apr 13 2008, 07:04 PM, said:
Yes, I knew a discussion here on divorce was way off topic as also was I believe the discussion about gay rights, but it is a point of contention for some people and I've had trouble in the past with my position on this topic, but in all reality as we see below there is room for discussion on both issues just to clarify different points.
Yes I realize we're off topic with gay rights as well, as I pointed out...and I apologize to all for derailing yet another thread.
TheGreatWhiteBuffalo, on Apr 13 2008, 07:04 PM, said:
You have made very clear and uderstandable your position, yet I fail to see where the term civil union can't be equal in meaning to marriage to appease all parties those like me with my heterosexual understanding and those with a homosexual desire. I really think the meaning should be equal really you can have a homosexual wedding with a civil union while the only thing different is the title on the documentation.
You have made your position quite clear as well. I simply fail to understand why the title must be different. When someone can give me an adequate reason for this perhaps I will change my mind; until then we'll just have to agree to disagree.
TheGreatWhiteBuffalo, on Apr 13 2008, 07:04 PM, said:
As I said about this issue I had no idea that my marriage was only a civil union and that is depressing to me but something that I have to live with as part of my history as my parents before me and my fathers before him. It is sad when the wife doesn't come to the marriage with everything and withholds portions with lies and help from outside of what would have been a marriage that was destroyed by those external influences, selfishness and the lack of truth. (That might be harsh, vague or cryptic and really all I'm going to say about that, I don't think it would be appropriate to go into the details, I've already written enough, I'm sure... I hope not too much but enough to bring a little clarity to why I have this point of view...)
October, on Apr 13 2008, 08:46 PM, said:
I don't know if there is really an issue about starting more threads. I will say with my own experience with having gone through a divorce that we spent 5 years in marital therapy. At the point I finally said "enough is enough" there was too much damage done to be fixed. I could no longer trust him. After I left I all but stopped having panic attacks and the 10 year battle with anorexia came to a halt. My very life had been at risk because of the toxicity of our relationship, I wasn't being beat physically but emotionally. It seems so obvious now but to this day my family (parents, siblings) have problems understanding how sick I was in the relationship -- I don't think they truly understand how close they came to losing me, forever. I suspect they are in denial perhaps out of guilt for not being able to see what was happening, of course I was in denial myself and was a master at hiding my own misery, partially because I blamed myself for what was happening and partially because I didn't want to get a divorce. It was "easier" to be wholly miserable than to be willing to say the relationship needed to end. Eventually something clicked and I escaped. I'm still not sure what exactly happened but I think it was probably my last chance to get out -- perhaps that basic survival instinct that is in us all? I believe that had I not left when I did I would have been dead at my own hand.
I am terribly sorry (to both of you) for your negative marital experiences...OA, I'm so glad you were able to "escape" as you called it.
I will have to bow out of this conversation though as I have never been married and thus do not have any personal experience with married life, marital problems, or divorce. I could probably make some guesses as to why the divorce rate is so high but they would be unresearched and unsupported from personal experience so...they probably wouldn't add much
MultiQuote
